Saturday, January 20, 2018

Growing Old Gracefully?

I may receive a lot of heat for this one because we are not that old. Our friends Jim and Barb are sooooo much older than us but they are young at heart and we are desperately trying to keep up with them. The touchy subject I want to address is this.

We are getting older. The reason that I know this is that when we get together with friends and family topics of conversations start including subjects like medications, procedures we have had and also where is a place that serves cheap soft serve ice cream. When I look at myself, I think of me as I was back in my early thirties. I still feel like that is the age I am but now my body is telling me something else. It started as whispers in my head. "Be careful buddie, that looks slippery" or "you probably shouldn't eat that buddy, what about your cholesterol?"

Case in point and this happened when I was only 45. I was in the Air National Guard. Since 9/11 military training has changed. We were in the Air Force and now they wanted to give us Army training. The exercise for the day was to jump out of a 2 1/2 ton truck and establish a perimeter around it. Now the bed of a 2 1/2 ton truck is about 5 feet off of the ground. So the truck stops and the tailgate gets dropped and the young guys leap out of the truck. Me and another older airman look at that and we say to ourselves, "This ain't happening." We get to the edge of the truck, turn around and slowly climb down the tailgate using the foot holds. Once on the ground we become Rambos and take up our positions around the truck. I guess that is why soldiers are young guys because us old guys can't physically do that anymore. I could have jumped out and I would have if we were under fire. But I would have been the first casualty, not from a gunshot but from a broken hip or something. I don't even dare jump out of the back of my pick-up.
5 foot drop out of the back of these things.

It's not a bad thing to get old. It's the circle of life. Hakuna Matata. The bad part is that it sneaks up on you when you are not looking. My bad knees for instance. (There I go, talking about procedures.) That was my body telling me "Hey buddy, I think maybe you should go scooter shopping." To which I say "I would but my wife won't let me. She thinks that I should walk everywhere."

Lisa went to the dermatologist the other day because she is covered in moles (Oh no, another procedure). In fact if you connect them dot-to-dot like (FYI. She doesn't like that, especially with permanent marker)  you get a picture of a dancing bear on her back. She got one mole removed and I was surprised at how much they removed when I finally saw the incision. Her mother was putting a new bandage on it and all of a sudden from the bathroom she is yelling for me. I say "What?" Bev then tells me Lisa has passed out and Bev is trying to hold her up. I just had knee surgery so I am trying to hobble into the bathroom to help. I get there and grab her and help her into the living room and get her in a chair. Apparently Lisa looked at the incision and that was all it took. I never knew she got that queasy over that kind of stuff after all these years. But it did not stop me from laughing once she was okay.
4 stitches to get that one out.

AARP has been trying to recruit me for a couple of years now. I am not at their age limit thank the Maker. We even look at RV communities when we are looking for a wintering place. So many are "55" and over and we smile and and tell ourselves "Not yet".

That's all for this wacky episode of "Dorks on Parade". My inner voice is telling me, "Hey buddy, lets go find some ice cream".


  1. You are dead to us! Well almost dead, like one foot in the grave dead. Actually we like hanging out with you, there are not too many younger couples that we can run circles around and make us feel so young!

    1. Likewise I'm sure. Maybe we could include activities like shuffleboard and Bingo. Something that isn't life threatening. Or maybe bike riding?

  2. Glad Lisa is ok! She didn't faint when she saw your lovely knee? Hey a week from today I'll be 61, one more year until SS!! Woohoo!

    1. Happy Early Birthday! We have a long way to go before that.

  3. Holey Moley! Poor Lisa! I hope you both had some ice cream after that!