Why are We Here?

 This is quite the topic to tackle, from a point of philosophical awareness. People have written countless books about existentialism but I will delve into it as it relates to us. (Sorry Jethro, more big words.)

The term "here" refers to a spot in the Black Hills of South Dakota. Particularly the "J bar B" ranch close to the town of Custer, SD. A year ago we got a message from Jethro and Bambi. He said he was inviting a small group of people out to the ranch in September of 2025. He wanted to give everybody plenty of notice to clear their calendars. Fast forward to now and here we are. 

Photo stolen from Jethro and improved by Tango.

Saturday.

These are the couples that are making the journey to South Dakota. Traveling from 3 different states and one province. We all arrived on the same day and started to get caught up with everyone's  lives. While everyone was getting reacquainted Jethro pulls me aside and whispers in my ear, which was a little unnerving because he smelled of bourbon and pork rinds.

He said to me "Tango, Bambi and I have a million dollar idea. I don't want to do a food trailer because that sounds like too much work for Bambi, so we came up with this idea. The J bar B ranch.  A +55 and older dude ranch for senior citizens! That's why you all are here! To give it the first test. We have activities planned, tours set up. It's all inclusive too. Food and beverages. Everything! We have even scheduled nap times! It's perfect!"

So the first day was slow and easy since it was a travel day. Pretty soon Jethro was bringing out the bourbon. Those that wanted to do blind taste testing of a variety of bourbons could. Just an observation here. I think there would be more takers if there was prize money involved. Giggling could be heard the rest of the night.

Sunday.

Today was a quiet day. People could explore on their own. The afternoon was going to be a cornhole tournament, more bourbon tasting and alcohol consumption. Jethro made a bracket and names were drawn to see who was going to compete with who. Everyone started googling the rules to make sure it was on the level. We decided on the Queensbury rules of cornhole to the death and the competition began.

It was a very spirited competition, comments from the spectators were nonstop as you could imagine.

Jethro pulled me aside again and whispered in my ear. "Tango, today we are just playing cornhole but imagine an Olympic size shuffle board court here. Over there yonder I want to install a pickleball court. What else do old people play? Oo, I know checkers!" I looked over and saw his eyes gleaming and a smile plastered across his face. I was wondering how much bourbon he has already had and why does he always smell of pork rinds?

The losers of the games would then have to spin the wheel of bad decisions. The wheel was listed with all kinds of bad alcohol and the losers would spin to see what they had to take a shot of.

Here is Jethro spinning because his team lost. I think he lost on purpose just so he could drink.

The tournament went on for hours with the eventual winners being the team of Bambi and Tango. Again, just saying that maybe some cash prizes may be a good incentive.

Fun was had by all. But if that wasn't good enough, the two winners now had to face each other in a sudden death game. The game went back and forth for what seemed like hours. Imagine two athletes at the top of there physical abilities competing head to head. On and on it went until finally time started to take its toll on, Tango. Bambi was in her prime and finally endured the final outcome. Bambi was the overall champion. Congratulations to her. Jethro presented her with the Shepard's hook of physical prowess. Again, cash!

With the game over alcohol was brought out for drowning your sorrows or celebrating your victories. I would like to add that the meals Bambi has been cooking were fabulous! Bambi has been doing so much cooking and keeping us fed. I made the comment that this is like the opposite of fat camp. It's more like "see how much you can eat camp". After every meal you can hear moans and groans of satisfaction. You can always count on Jethro to add "save room for some bourbon!"

That's it for the first two days. There is so much going on that I have do small snippets to just keep up with everything before the alcohol clouds my mind. Stay tuned for more.

The Most Stupendous Epic Adventure to Date.

Day 1, 19 September 2025

 Our brave explorers Gladys Butterpump and Tango Allejandro decided not to hibernate after soup season. Instead our brave explorers decide to pack up their camper and head to parts unknown.They packed for days and days in preparation for this fantastic voyage. Everything that was once in the house was now in their camper. The neighbors could hear Tango yelling at Gladys many times. 

"Gladys! Gladys! (She's hard of hearing.) "Why don't you just follow me in a U-Haul truck with everything you are bringing!" he said exasperated. (That's a big word Jethro. You may have to look it up.) Finally it was time to throw the cats in and go. They decided to take a minute and take a photo as tradition dictates for posterity. (More big words.)

Look how young, happy and gay our explorers look. It was going to be a grand and glorious day full of so much promise and hope.

Fate can be a fickle "B" word. And fate said "Wait just a gosh darn moment!" We didn't hear her because our hearts were light and gay, remember? 

Tango jumped into the truck ready to hit the open road. To feel the wind whip through what's left of his hair and see what lays ahead. Tango turns the key to hear the mighty diesel roar to life. (Insert the sound of chirping crickets here.) Nothing. NOTHING!  I just had this stupid thing in for service! "Damn you over priced dealership service!" Turn the key, nothing. Turn the key, nothing. I'm sure if I keep doing it a dozen more times something will happen.

"Gladys, you're going to have to jump me." I said.

"Okay Tango, but I'm not as spry as I once was." She said in her sexy sultry voice.

"I mean jump start my truck."

When the truck started, they turned their vehicles west for the big adventure. Now our explorers should have taken that as an omen and returned to their recliners for the winter but, NO. It rained and rained the entire day. Sometimes very heavily. At one point Tango lost visual on Gladys in her U-Haul. He radioed back at her and she never answered. I slowed down hoping she would catch up and finally resorted to calling her. She answered and said "Did you see that big puddle of water on the side of the highway?" "Yes I did. So I swerved around it." I said. "Well I didn't. I almost went into the ditch. I think I pee'd my pants."

The truck not starting. the all day rain with downpours, Gladys almost hydroplaning into the ditch, fate is trying to tell us something. Is this trip doomed from the very beginning? To make things worse, this is the first trip without Moose. However it is Stinky's first trip. So what does she do. She poops in her cage. She was very embarrassed about it.

We made it alive to our first stop. It is farther now to go back home than to our final destination so we must press on. 

Day one is in the books. Not to put a jinx on it but how much worse can day two be.

Day two, 20 Sept. 2025

Day 2 started off much better. We got an early start, excited to get to our final destination. There was only one glitch in that leg of the journey. Fog. We went thru about a 40 mile stretch of fog that got so thick at times you could only see about a hundred feet in front of your vehicle. I am so amazed at some of the people who lack the common sense as to not turn on their headlights in the fog. They always seem to be the ones driving white vehicles also. The fog slowed us down to 40-50 miles an hour at times. 

Once we got through that we made a stop in Wall SD because when you go by Wall Drug you have to stop. It's like a SD law or something. Gladys said she wanted to ride a Jackelope so what Gladys wants, Gladys gets.

Finally we made it to our final destination. I can't tell you where that is at the moment. We are waiting to see how it goes before we admit to anything. More blogs to follow.

One more thing to add. We survived a close call with a T-Rex. We were lucky to leave with our lives. See how adventurous we are?

Before you get alarmed about the SSUVFL being unprotected, I assure you it is. I hired a security guy who will be there 24/7. Here is a picture of him on patrol.

He may look skinny but he is scrappy.

Soup Season Wrap Up

 It's sad but it's true. Soup season has ended for us early. 

Due to a commitment next week we have closed down the soup trailer early. This year we did not keep track of the amount of soup we sold like we have in the past. I know that will disappoint Harry and Jim because I know they live for those stats. However I will add that for our last big event, which was a three day event, we ended up selling 17 gallons of soup.

We did 61 events this year. Down 30 events from our first year. We have finally learned what events are decent and which ones are not. Live and learn. By doing fewer events, we have drastically lowered our food costs and controlled the waste so much better.

The questions we get from people still make me laugh. Like "Do you take cash?" For the record, we do. And because of that so many people bring us hundred dollar bills. We are thinking of changing our name to Lone Pine Soup Co. and Bank.

Another favorite question I like to hear is that when people order, they want their food to go. Cracks me up every time.

We did a lot of new events this year, some that Lisa has been trying to get in for years, finally paying off. We met a lot of great people at some fun events. We thank everyone who has helped support us. 

Now it is time to rest and hibernate for the winter. We will see what next season brings. Until then. 

Adieu!

Time

 I look at myself in the mirror like most people do I guess. What I see is a man perpetually stuck at the age of 35. That's what I see anyways. I don't see myself aging at all. But my body tells me otherwise. My body is always reminding me of my age with new aches and pains all over. I've blogged about my hand surgeries and my hip surgery so I won't delve into that much other than saying that those are aches and pains that I am supposed to live with the rest of my life. They do not go away.

Recently I have been having some new pains. So as these new pains show up I try to address them to find out if it's just another new pain I have to live with or can something be done about them. 

The first one being my right hip. "Oh great!" I thought, as stabbing pains would practically knock me to the ground. So off to Orthopedics I went. They took some x-rays and the Doctor tells me that I do not need surgery on that hip, yet. He said that what I have is arthritis  forming which is probably causing the pain. Whew! Nothing serious at this point. 

The second new pain that I have been dealing with is in my right heel. This is where it starts to get funny. It's bad enough that my body is telling me that I am aging (not gracefully either), but now my mind is getting in on the act.

I had an appointment with a Podiatrist for 1 in the afternoon the other day. So as often as I do when I have to drive into town, I like to make a few stops and get things done. For instance, recyclables. We recycle here so I wanted to stop and do that. The bank. I need to make a deposit so I did that. Lunch. I stopped for lunch. The gas station. I still had some time to kill so I went to a couple of thrift stores to look around. Finally it was time to go to the clinic for my appointment.

I got checked in and went to the waiting area. They finally call my name and the nurse brings me into the exam room. She asked me to take off my shoes and socks and then wait  for the Doctor to come in. The Doctor enters and says to me "Are your Hoka shoes more comfortable on your sore heel than the New Balance shoes?" To which I said "Huh?"

"Your shoes, you are wearing two different types of shoes." she said.

So I looked at my shoes and I think I turned a bright shade of red. OMG! I'm thinking to myself as I fight to stop laughing. I was so embarrassed. I kept thinking about all of the places I went and the things I did, not having a clue that I had two different types of shoes on. 

After the appointment I sent a picture to Lisa and I said "Why do you even let me leave the house unsupervised?" 

Can you spot a difference?

She laughed and I laughed, and the person in the car next to me rolled up their window and drove away, fast.

So my mind is telling me how I am aging also now. If that was the only incident this week I could have swallowed my pride and moved on, but it wasn't.

We have a Pizza Pizaz pizza cooker. I was having lunch and I put my pizza on it and waited. And waited. Of course Lisa would have to be in the same room as I am doing this. Sheesh that pizza is taking for ever to cook. So I get up and wouldn't you know it. I didn't turn it on. Am I going senile or what. Of course Lisa got a big kick out of that. In my defense though, if you plug those in they start rotating immediately. I just assumed it was on when I heard it working. What cooks the pizza is having to turn the timer on. Duh!

There are so many things I have to do now before I leave the house. Are my underpants on backwards? Shirt and pants? Socks and now shoes. Are they the same and on the right foot?

What happened with the Podiatrist? Well I have Achilles Tendinitis and a heel spur. I have to wear a special boot for 3-4 weeks. 

That's it for my embarrassment this week. 

Rumor Control

 There are a couple of rumors going around the interwebs that I would like to address. 

First off. I have never been to or will ever go to a Coldplay concert.

Second. It is true that we got a visit from Jethro and Bambi(aka. Jim and Barb from jimandbarbsrvadventure.blogspot.com).

Let me start from the beginning of how that all transpired. We got a call from a very excited Jethro. I mean he was super excited. He was talking so fast that it all sounded like jibberish. Or maybe it was the excessive amount of alcohol that he had consumed. Thankfully we were on the other end of the phone and not face to face because I can just imagine the spit flying, he was talking so fast. I will cut out all of the "Whoo-we's" and "Hot dawgs" just to shorten this story for you'all. Dag-gummit! Now he has me talking like him!

Well the jist of the conversation was this. They wanted to see our food trailer and how everything worked. Jethro had this great idea of wanting to sell pickled pigs feet, deep fried chicken feet, something he called Blackhills oysters dipped in a marmalade moonshine sauce, Bambi's famous tacos and blood sausage kabobs. I heard that and threw up in my mouth a little bit. So we agreed upon a day for them to visit. One that we were going to take our food trailer to. Well we waited and waited, looking at the time. We told them to be at our place so that they could ride with us and see how the food trailer works. Not kidding, five minutes before we were going to leave, a pick-up camper came barreling down our driveway as if Bo and Luke Duke were behind the wheel. Skidding to a stop. Bambi was hot on his tail just like Daisey Duke in her Jeep, trying to keep up. 

I said "plug in that camper and lock up the hound dogs, we got to git(talking like him again). They jumped in our truck and we were off to the event. A concert at the Kirkbride park in town. On the way to town they sheepishly apologized for being so late. Jethro said that Bambi found a Walmart in a town on the way and was in shopping heaven. I guess they don't have Walmarts where they come from.

We made it on time to the event and got set up. Then we waited for the crowds. The music that night was a tribute band for Bruce Springsteen. They sounded good.

Well Bambi was very interested in how things worked. We showed her how things worked and she helped out as well. Jethro on the other hand was no where to be seen. I asked Bambi if she knew where he was. She said that he found the beer tent and would be gone the rest of the night. Figures.

Photo courtesy of Jethro before he found the beer tent.

Afterwards, we packed things up and went back to the SSUVFL. We gathered around the table along with my sister Gio and her husband Jeff, who also had a booth at the concert. Lisa made Lemon-drop Martini's for the ladies while the men drank their beers. The conversation went on for hours and before we knew it, it was 12:30 in the morning. way past our bedtimes but the laughs kept coming, one after the other. Jethro passed out hours before hand but Bambi was still going strong with the Martini's. 

Morning came too early and I was up. Cleaning and doing the dishes and making an egg bake for everyone. Once breakfast was done Gio and Jeff said their good byes and headed back to the cities. Jethro brought his Bass buggy with him and wanted to work on his trailer and he needed tools. 

Jethro working on his trailer.

Jethro was sure proud of his "Bass Buggy" he called it. "Ain't she a butte? When I'm in there, I'm the captain and what I says goes. It's like the law." He chuckled. 

Captain Jethro

He got his trailer fixed and loaded the boat back onto it. Sure enough, he was taking this Captain thing Seriously. Here's the video.

We eventually went out for dinner at one of the local eateries and then went home. I offered up our shower to him and he said it wasn't the last day of the month yet. We launched the boat back into the lake and had a nice evening cruise. Afterwards we just hung out at conversed until they started yawning.

Bambi thinking about the Walmart.

Jethro and Zoey

Dacotah

The next morning they were gone. No long goodbyes. Just hugs. 

Blogger is so weird sometimes. I cannot get the margin to the left so from now on it will just be centered.

Like I said they left. Jethro said that he had to find some lunker bass and he heard they were in Canada. To me that is a long way to go for fish when we have a supermarket right in town. We watched them drive away but some how we were reminded of them everywhere we turned.

Like the box of books they left. I really didn't think Jethro could read.

Some alcohol Bambi left behind. I thought that that was really strange. (Now blogger changed the font. Why?)

The left over pizza in our fridge.

Parts of a boat trailer just thrown on the ground.

This strange wet spot on the ground by their camper. Then I remembered that I had told Jethro that they were free to use our bathroom. He said, "You have an outhouse in your house? That there is crazy talk. No I will just use the tire because if it's good enough for the dogs, it's good enough for me. Bambi might though. Ever since she went to that fancy Walmart she has some fancy ways about her now. She will probably want an outhouse in the house and a kitchen."

So that was our quick visit with them. All too short with lots of good times.

Here is some food trailer news. We were at the local farmers market downtown Fergus Falls last Saturday morning. Lisa used the bathroom and came back and said there was a little ziplock bag on the ground in there with something in it. So I went in (they are unisex because this is MN) and sure enough it was there. I called the local police and they showed up quite quickly and he said that it was a bag of meth. He said that in that tiny bag there was enough to get two people stoned. There was hardly anything in it. Wow. I told him that I didn't want any kids finding it. Not all heroes wear capes. Some just sling soup for a living.

That's it for this fun installment.

 

Moose

 I have been dreading this post for some time now. But I feel I have to do this for two reasons. One, to remember him and two, hopefully for some closure. 

It has been over a week now that we had to say goodbye to Moose. It still breaks my heart that he is gone. I spend a lot of time outside because being in the house is very sad for me. Everything reminds me of him. His favorite blanket where he would sleep for hours all curled up inside of it.

Where he would sit, watching the birds or squirrels.

The way he would always greet us at the door when we came home. 

Moose has been showing his age now for some time. We have had him into the vet many times for a sneezing problem. He would have these sneezing fits and then lately when they happened his left eye would bleed. So in May he was diagnosed with a tumor behind his eye that affected his eye and sinuses. 6 months was his prognosis. They sent me home with a prescription to reduce the inflammation. That's all we could do for him. That was a sad day for sure.

For the next 3-4 weeks we watched him. Those of you who knew Moose, you knew he was a big cat. He was over 16 pounds. He had lost a lot of weight. He was down to just over 11 pounds now. I spoiled him at the end. Giving him all the treats he cared to eat. Soft food when he looked hungry. I think Stinky gained weight because whatever he didn't eat, she would. 

Finally it got to the point to where we couldn't bear to see him like this anymore. He would still have sneezing fits and you could see that he was in pain. We knew it was time.

This was the last photo I took of Moose. The day after, we took him to the vet one last time. I have never been so sad in my life. I held him in my arms until the end. Watching the life leave his body but knowing he was in a better place now. When it was done, the sight of his lifeless body laying on the table as we left still causes me to tear up.

The house now is a little lonelier and more sad. The other two cats I know are wondering where he went. Moose would spend a lot of time in the garage towards the end. When he was ready to come inside, Stinky would run to the door to greet him. She still runs to the door but he is never there now. And Journey, for 10 years she has been with Moose. They had a special bond.

Moose loved laps.

It didn't matter who you were, if you were sitting, he would climb up on your lap and quickly fall asleep. He was always with me during my 3 surgeries. Always providing comfort.

We got Moose from a shelter in Sanford FL. He picked me that day so long ago. I think I took him for granted, always thinking he would be around. Now he is gone. Here is the first picture we ever took of him.

He will be missed.

 

From Cryptids to the Paranormal

 Our hero's, Gladys and Tango, have added another occupation to there long and distinguished resumes. "How can that possibly be?" you ask. We know they are renowned Cryptid hunters. traveling the country searching for Sasquatch's, Skunk Apes, Yeti's and many other sorts of scary beings. Warriors, Caregivers, Carny's, Professional Soup Slingers and the list goes on and on. What more could they possibly do?

Paranormal investigations. According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, it simply says : not scientifically explainable.

When we built our fortress of solitude, The SSUVFL, 5 years ago, we have had a few unexplained phenomena happen to us. Nothing like in the movies such as poltergeist, or anything like that. What I will share with you are a few of the "hair on the back of the neck raising" types of things that have happened to us.

This is a photo of part of the SSUVFL taken from outer space. To the right of our building we put in an RV pad with full hookups out there. Only intending to be here during summer months in our fifthwheel. After we first built our place, we had our fifth wheel parked out there. Gladys and I were sitting inside with the windows open. The RV pad was made of rock. As we sat there we could hear footsteps in the rock plain as day. We both looked at each other, I jumped up and went outside wondering who was out there. I went around the entire camper and building and did not find anyone. Sure, you might think it was a rabbit or squirrel but it wasn't. For one thing, we don't have rabbits around here. and a squirrel would make random jumps as they move. These footsteps were even and sounded heavy.

The second example is this. After we added our cabin addition on, we were inside watching some television. Lisa got up and set her glass on the counter by the sink and then sat down again. A few minutes later the glass shattered while it was on the counter. It wasn't hot or cold. It was just empty. Freaked us both out. 

There have been several other times that we would see a shadow pass by a window or door. Always sending chills down our backs.

One time, Gladys was staining boards for our cabin. She was hunched over them, when she turned her head, she saw someone standing next to her. It was only legs and a torso, without a face. She jumped and then blinked and it was gone. She swears that it was her father. So vivid was the image that she can even describe what he was wearing.

We don't get too overly concerned about it. We have smudged the house with sage in the traditional indigenous way. If there is a spirit here we think of it as the spirit of Lisa's father who passed away and left us this beautiful property. We refer to it as "Wiggies ghost".

A couple of weeks ago our daughter was going to spend a couple of days with us. She works nights and then drives out to our place very late. So as she arrived, our trail camera, that we have set up at the entrance of the SSUVFL took a picture of her. This is what it caught.

If that isn't a ghostly apparition, I don't know what is. The picture before and after that one does not have anything like it. Things that make you go "hmmm". 

Here's the picture before her arrival.

And after her arrival. You can see the time stamps.

Another curious thing about those photos is that there are no critters pictured to have set off the camera.

Maybe it is a good thing to let the world know that the SSUVFL is haunted. Might keep the Rif-raf away. Until the next spooky thing happens.

Cryptid Hunting

 

 

Our heroes, Tango and Gladys, have set aside their Sasquatch hunt for a while. Having ventured to the swamps of Florida last year searching for the ever elusive Skunkape. Still reeling from the financial burden of the dreaded truck repairs and equipment failure of that expedition. Hunkered down, deep in the middle of the SSUVFL, our heroes wait for news of the next big adventure. Wait long, they did not.

Rumor spread of an invasion not far from us. Creatures larger than Sasquatches if you can believe that. Practically in our very own backyard. "Gladys! To the Sasquatch mobile!"

We traveled a few miles north of us to where the sightings of these creatures have been reported as being seen. It was a gloomy overcast day. The kind of day that makes it perfect for hunting. We arrived and not long after that we saw our first sighting. It was horrible, yet breathtaking at the same time.

You may be asking yourselves what this could possibly be? Folklore says these creatures have been around for hundreds, maybe thousands of years. Moving amongst us unseen. What praytell could it be? In one word.

TROLLS.

The Oxford dictionary says this. An ugly creature depicted as either a giant or a dwarf.

North of us there is a town we locals simply call DL. (IYKYK) Hidden in the woods around this town live an assortment of Trolls. 9 to be exact. So off we went in search of these mythical creatures. Each troll has a clue and once you get all of the clues, it will tell you where there is a golden rabbit hidden. Never have we hunted Trolls before and we had no idea of what we were getting ourselves into. So blindly into the wilderness we went. There is an order to finding these things but looking at the map from my navigator, the second troll would actually be closer for us to find. Find it we did.

The first Troll.

Lisa with Ronny Funny Face.

I'm the smaller one.

These Trolls were placed around the county as an interactive art exhibit. Very cool and these things are huge. I think if you scan that QR code it will explain it all. On to the next one. 

This is actually the starting point of the Troll hunt. There is a large wooden book just in front of Lisa in this photo. It is the key to the Nordic alphabet that will tell you where to find the Golden Rabbit. Around each Trolls neck is a clue.

Two Trolls down, seven to go.

Except for the first Troll, which is right in the middle of the DL city park, you have to venture out into the woods to find them. So prepare for an all day adventure should you choose to partake. At this Troll you can choose to rock jump over a pond to get there.

To everyone's dismay, Lisa made it across without incident. 

We found four of the Trolls. We decided that this would be a fun activity to do with the grandkids on a nice summer day. In some areas we were slip sliding through mud and I didn't want to fall and break a hip. So we called it quits there. 

On a more personal note. I have become more like the Trolls. I told you about my back surgery. Now I have had to have a tooth removed from my head. They couldn't save it and it hurt pretty bad so now it is gone. Just a big gaping hole in my mouth. Growing old gracefully.

Having this tooth removed reminded me of the time my wisdom teeth were pulled. I was 19 in the Air Force at the time. The dentists name was Captain Esqueval. Why I remember that, I don't know, but I do. I swear that when he was pulling them, he had a foot on my face, yanking so hard as to break one or two. I was in the hospital for 3 days after that. Now this part is truly unbelievable. I smoked at the time and I had a non-smoking hospital room. I had to walk down the hallway to smoke. Things sure have changed.

The next great adventure awaits.