Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

 

Another year has come and gone. It goes by so fast. I look back at my younger years and it seemed like time moved at a much slower pace. It seemed like my school years took forever to get through. Nowadays I wish I could relive them. Like my first crush in fourth grade with a girl named Beth. Singing in the middle school choir at this time of year was always special. Four years of being in our Catholic High School. Four years in the Air Force. Marriage. Kids and now grand kids. It's like a snowball rolling down a hill. But I digress.

Christmas is such a special time of year. I love the snow on the ground and the houses decorated with colored lights. Inside our house, the tree is all decorated and presents surrounding it.

I love Christmas music. I have it on a lot when Lisa isn't around. I like the stuff from Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Mannheim Steam Roller or older stuff like Vince Guaraldi. This will be the first year without Moose. But he is with us in spirit.

The smells of the holidays also bring joy. Like the smell of baking. Today Lisa is make Krumkake. Pronounced "Croom-ka-ka". It is a traditional, thin, crisp Norwegian waffle cookie rolled into a cone.

Placing a dollop of dough on the Krumkake maker.

Once the dough is placed on the iron , it is closed for about 20 seconds.

Then the Krumkake is taken off the iron hot and rolled into a cone.

Once cooled they are a crispy delicious cookie.

The finished product.

This year will be the first time at changing our holiday meal. Normally we would have a ham with all of the fixings but we are going to change it up this year. We decided to go out for Chinese food at lunch and then have hors d'oeuvre's for the rest of the day. We all agreed that nobody ever complains of not having enough food at the holidays. Just the opposite.

Another new tradition will be our holiday game. The last few years we have been doing a saran wrap ball filled with all kinds of goodies. Last year, the boys each had their own and then two other for the adults because of all of the things inside them. 

Last year's Saran wrap balls and Stinky.

This year we have made a new game thanks to the influencers called Jim and Barb, aka, Jethro and Bambi. We are going to play "Shut the Box" and the lowest score can pick a gift plus they can pick a gift card from a stack I have. It will be like gift card roulette because the gift card may be full, empty or somewhere in between.

So with Christmas here, we would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. May 2026 be filled with wonder and glory for all.

l-r. Santa, Jorin(8mos.), Audie(74mos.) and Virgo(92mos.)

Wait a minute, Why would my first picture be of a package of bacon?

Let me explain the torture that I must endure. Last week Lisa and I went to Wallyworld to shop. She put in the shopping cart a package of bacon. My mouth starts watering and I'm thinking that there must be a special occasion coming up because she knows I would kill for bacon. So a few days later I come in from outside and I smell bacon. So I ask her if I can have a piece which is code for wanting all of it. (The package isn't resealable so that means it's a single serving, right?) Do you know what she tells me?

"You can have 'one' piece" She says. "That's her bacon".

"What?!" Her bacon. Her bacon? 

If we ever get divorced I can now see a custody battle as to who gets the bacon. By the way, that's a picture of "MY" bacon. 

 

COVID Flashback

 It has been 4 and a half weeks since I have been under what I like to refer to as being under "house arrest".  Since we cancelled our most stupendous and epic adventure to be at home at the SSUVFL, I have been home bound, much like when COVID hit, but this time due to my ankle issues. Those being my Achilles tear, fracture and bone spur.

4 and a half weeks of being off of my feet as much as possible. Wearing that aircast every waking hour. Using that knee scooter to go anywhere. Do you know what happens when you sit on your butt for 4 and a half weeks? You gain weight. I gained so much more weight. So much more than at that gluttony convention at the J Bar B Dude ranch in September.

My day starts with me putting my "Boot" on. That's what I call the cast. Then jump on my scooter to go to the living room where Lisa has my coffee ready. I elevate my foot, drink coffee and get smarter by reading the Facebook. Once done, I get on the scooter to go to the table where Lisa has my breakfast ready and another cup of coffee. 

Once that is done I thank her and then drive my scooter to the spare bedroom where my Xboxes are set up. Then I game for hours and hours. Stopping for lunch and dinner. After dinner it is a movie, shower and then back to bed. I made the comment to her that that was pretty much the routine that her 100 year old grandfather did. Only he listened to books on tape because he was practically blind.

I think to myself that this is what old age is going to be like. Maybe I can talk Lisa into taking me to Moab and then put me in a Jeep and then Thelma and Louise me when the time comes. 

So I sit in my room day after day. Some days surviving on nothing but leftovers and my salty tears while Lisa drives to Fargo to help with the grandkids. Then out of the blue I will get a spark of happiness from our friends in South Dakota.

It's so kind of them.

Today I had a recheck on my foot. It has been feeling better thanks to my diligence and my warden hovering over me nonstop. So the prognosis today is that I should wear the aircast one more week. However I need to start to go to physical therapy at least 3 times a week for 2-4 weeks, if it does not worsen. Surgery is still on the back burner so we will see how it goes. I don't need the scooter around the house but it is recommended for trips to Wally World or anytime I am going to be on my feet for longer than ten minutes. We have to take baby steps going forward.

So that is it for an update. We wish everyone who reads this a Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful for the great care my nurse/warden has been giving me and also Busch Light. Amen.

The Most Stupendous Epic Adventure 2.0

 The plan was to go to the Omaha Zoo and then turn south. We wanted to head to the Gulf to some of the places that we really love to return to. Namely the Waveland, Mississippi area and then along the gulf coast to St. George Island and eventually to Cedar Key.

Being by the ocean is very soothing to us. Not to mention the amount of treasures that I find metal detecting on the beaches. Gladys does her shell hunting and walking along the beach. In Pass Christian there is our favorite beach bar that we always make a stop at for delicious shrimp meals. 

Our plans were going to be big, or do I dare say stupendous and epic? 

Much like the Greek hero Achilles, I too had but one weakness. My heel. For months I have been dealing with excruciating pain at times. Most times it is just a constant burning pain making every step I take harder than it is meant to be. I've been to a podiatrist before we started this journey and she gave me an air cast to wear when walking around. The hope being that it would eventually heal on its own. 

So we got to Omaha and walked 3.5 miles around the zoo. It was excruciating. We weighed the pros and cons of continuing on with the journey but I really could not stand or walk for long distances any more. There was no way that I could enjoy the beaches. We then made the decision to head north.

Once home I messaged my podiatrist and she quickly scheduled an MRI on my foot to really see what is going on in there. It's a good thing we did go home because the MRI showed that I had a small tear in my Achilles tendon along with a fracture in my heel and she said that where my Achilles attached to the bone it is diseased from being inflamed for so long. Also, there is a heel spur that is not helping the situation.

Surgery was an option but I have not been lucky with past surgeries. They usually cause another problem down the line. Recovery from that surgery would take 4-8 weeks. So that was going to be plan "B".

Plan "A" is to stay off of my feet as much as humanly possible. Wearing the boot every waking hour for four weeks. No weight bearing at all on my ankle. We ordered one of those knee scooters to help me get around.

Lisa is watching over me to make sure that I am staying off of my feet. She is taking great care of me. Although it feels like being under house arrest. It has been one week and the pain is less, which is a good thing. Only time will tell.

So I admit that ending our stupendous epic adventure was my fault. Maybe we will try it again next year.

The Most Stupendous Epic Adventure Continues

 

We left the J Bar B Dude Ranch and started to head east for our epic adventure. It was imperative that we did leave to save our livers, even though Bambi begged and pleaded for us to stay it was time. 9 days was a lot of time spent together and in the background I could see Jethro starting to load his shotgun. Yep, it was time.

Our next destination was going to be Omaha, Nebraska. Did you know that Omaha has the country's best zoo? Or as I like to call them, animal prisons. We made a stop in Mitchell, SD because we detest driving farther than 400 miles in a day. It was going to be about 350 miles which gives us a nice break. Once we got set up at the Mitchell city park campground, it gave us time to reflect on the past week and to also kill the many stink bugs that have infiltrated our camper. They are not really stink bugs. They are the Western Conifer Seed Bug.

The reason that they are mistaken for a stink bug is because when you squish them they emit a foul odor. They were everywhere. They fly into your face and hair so you can't help but not swat at them.

Reflecting on the past week we learned that for Jethro, it's never too early to start drinking. Bambi is an excellent cook. Her feasts reminded me of the time Gladys and I went to a medieval dinner theater. The portions were heaping and the alcohol was nonstop. 

The next day we headed out to Omaha but we had to make a short stop at a grocery store. As a going away gift from Bambi, she gave me her cold. So I needed lots of cold medications for the rest of the trip. We got to Omaha and stayed at a campground we first stayed at when we hit the road back in 2014. It sure had changed because none of it looked that familiar. In fact I thought it was someplace totally different. Oh well. 

We got set up, killed more bugs and got ready for the zoo.

The zoo is enormous. It's a good thing I got in shape doing those death marches in SD with my boot on. I turned on my pedometer app on my phone and we were off. The animal areas are big and the animals have room to roam around which is good.

Lemurs.

Silver back gorillas.

Jellyfish.

More Jellyfish.

Sleepy Lions.

Snow Leopard.

Rhino.

We were at the zoo on a Tuesday so it was not crowded at all. We made it around the entire zoo and I was getting very tired of hobbling around in my boot. In fact my legs were starting to kill me so we finally made it to the exit. I looked at my pedometer app and it said that we had walked 3.5 miles. No wonder my legs were killing me.

I got a message from my security guy at the SSUVFL. He said that he met my daughter and they were going to run off together leaving the SSUVFL unprotected.

Now that creates a problem. Do we continue South on our epic adventure? We know Bambi is tracking us because we get messages from her telling us not to turn north. The Google says that we are only 413 miles from home. We could break the 400 mile rule and turn north. My foot hurts so bad that I couldn't enjoy walking on sandy beaches right now. Plus the SSUVFL is unprotected.

With all of the evidence in front of us there was only one thing to do.

Final Days at the J Bar B Ranch

 Friday 26 September 2025

Jethro has been saving the biggest and best events for the finale of the first annual "J Bar B Ranch get together and hootinanny. (Jethro, you might have to work on that name. Just saying.) Although our group of the original ten is shrinking a little bit now. Debbie flew out on Thursday and Dave and Leslie are leaving Friday. So that leaves 7 hearty souls to continue on.

The first big event was touted as being enormous. It was going to be the 60th Annual Buffalo Round-up at Custer State Park. Jethro said that we had to leave the ranch at 6:30 in the morning. The plan was to take Jethros pickup camper and then meet up with some of his friends and then convoy into the park with them since this was everyone's first rodeo to speak. 

We drove to the town of Custer to meet his friends and then it was a long 2 hour drive into the park to the viewing area. Normally it would not be such a long drive but can you imagine 20 thousand people all wanting to go to the same area all at once. Instant gridlock traffic. Stop and go for hours. What made it worse was having my morning coffee filling up my bladder. Not a fun drive at all.

We eventually made it to the parking lot and thank the maker there was a porta potty pretty close. A sigh of relief could be heard all across the park. Jethro's friends set up tables and chairs for having some breakfast and drinks. (Go figure.) Mimosas, Bloody Mary's and Screwdrivers. We relaxed a little until it was time to take a shuttle bus to the viewing areas. Once there we walked through a sea of humanity to find the perfect spot to see the buffalo come in. The group quickly threaded themselves through the crowd leaving the two cripples behind as usual. So Harry and myself were left standing on a different hillside. We stood there for an hour waiting.

A crowd of people.

More people.

And more people. Across the way was another viewing area and the spot circled is where the SD Governor was watching.

I really never thought in my entire life that I would be sitting on a hillside with 20 thousand other people trying to get a glimpse at a herd of buffalo, but here I was. In fact on our way to the black hills we passed two big herds of buffalo just west of Pierre SD. Just standing by the road as we drove by.

This is what I remember of the buffalo round-up.

Finally they were herded past the throngs of people as cheers erupted for the buffalo. (Not kidding about that).

The cowboys herded the buffalo around that far hill and into a pasture just below us. It took 15 minutes. Now 20 thousand people were all wanting to leave at the same time. So we went back to the campers and here is the brilliant part. We sat around and had lunch and cocktails until the crowds finally started to thin out. We then packed into the RV and started the two hour drive back home. There was a big vendor show that we stopped at to look around. We found more people there.

Tired, we piled back into the RV and headed back to the ranch. Alcohol was provided in hopes of perking people up again but it was a rather long day. Harry and Vicki were leaving in the morning which meant there were only 5 left now. Also there was some confusion about when checkout actually was. Jethro was saying that it was Saturday but then Bambi wanted us to stay another week. Steve was leaving on Sunday?

Saturday 27 September 2025

Harry and Vicki were packing up to leave that morning. Jethro was running around telling the rest of us "See, see. They know when to leave. Why aren't you guys leaving also?" he said as pork rinds were flying out of his mouth. More goodbyes were said as we watched them drive away. We all vowed to meet back here in a year. I think I heard Jethro screaming "NO, NO!" as Bambi pushed him inside the house.

He finally came back out and said "since you 3 are still here, we can go into Rapid and I can show you the Prepper Show that's in town. Then you can see what all of us South Dakotans do in our free time." I had to Google what a prepper was because it was entirely new to me.

After that I googled the show itself and what came up did look kind of interesting.

So off to Rapid we went with high hopes of finding us some prepper stuff. I made the comment that I saw on the Facebook admission prices were lowered from 10 to 5 dollars a person. Sweet. We paid our money and walked in to this.

This does not look like the picture they put out on the Facebook. What a bust. I said to Gladys that we need to pack up and leave tomorrow if this is the best they can do. I looked over at Jethro and he was smiling from ear to ear. I think that was his plan from the beginning.

Sunday 28 September 2025

We packed up and were ready to leave because our adventure was going to continue and it was going to be epic. We said our goodbyes, to Jethro, Bambi and Steve. (Why does Steve get to stay?) Hugs all around from everyone. Bambi whispered in my ear, rather pleaded "Don't leave, please don't leave. I want to smell normal people that don't smell of bourbon and pork rinds. I beg of you." 

We vowed to come back next year for the second annual "J Bar B Ranch get together and hootinanny."

On a more personal note. I make fun of Jim and Barb(mostly Jim) but they know that I am only kidding. We love them like family and we wanted to thank them from the bottom of our hearts for inviting us out for an entire week of friendship and fun and also great memories that we all shared. Barb made some amazing meals for all of us and Jim kept us entertained which I am sure was difficult at best. I almost feel sad for winning so much of their money. We can't wait to do it again next year.

Our adventure continues.

 

Part 3 of the J Bar B Ranch

 Wednesday 24 September 2025

As I awake after 4 days of drinking, confusion fills my head. Where am I? Who am I? Why do I smell pork rinds?  As I roll over Jethro's face greets me with a huge smile and a faint odor of bourbon. "WHAT THE......!" I start to yell but he cuts me off in mid sentence. "Gladys was in the house so I came out to see you and tell you about all of today's activities. Bambi was right, you do sleep naked." he said. After the shock wore off he filled me in with the day's activities. 

He said that we were going to take a beautiful drive through the Black Hills and then end up at Mt. Rushmore. After that he found a place that smokes the best ribs you will ever find. Then ending up back at the ranch for, you guessed it, bourbon tasting and games. I told him that it sounds great but why did he have to crawl into bed with me to tell me? He said he likes to cuddle.

After that awkward encounter we all got ready and headed to the bus stop. The route to Mt. Rushmore was going to be on the Iron Mountain Road. A 17 mile scenic route famous for its 314 curves, 14 switchbacks and three pigtail bridges that loop over themselves along with three granite tunnels that frame views of Mt. Rushmore. Once inside the busses we were off. 

The drive was spectacular. No one got car sick. Here are some images taken from the interweb. 

This is a pigtail.

One of the tunnels with the view of Mt. Rushmore.

In the back of the bus you just get the view of the back of Jethro's head.

I think he needs a haircut.

It was a very good ride though so we can't really complain. We got to Mt. Rushmore and it has been several years since we have been there. It is always breathtaking.

Mt Rushmore.

And in typical fashion everyone raced ahead of the cripple guy to get the best spot for viewing. All I got was the backs of everyone's heads.

L-R-Steve looking for the mountain, Debbie looking for chapstick, Leslie wondering why there are no Canadians on the mountain, Jethro thinks he sees a deer, Gladys pretending she's in handcuffs, Dave thinking that this is Crazy Horse, and Bambi wanting to be in handcuffs also.

I borrowed a picture from Jethro's blog of the entire group because I did not get one at all.

L-R-Debbie, Steve, Bambi, Dave, Jethro, Harry, Gladys, Leslie, Tango and Vicki. Why are we all wearing sunglasses? Do we think we are all famous and don't want to be recognized? LOL.

There is a hike that gets you closer to the mountain so a few of the group decided to do that. I was not one of them. So the remainder stayed back to explore the visitor center and gift shop, also to sit in the shade and enjoy the ambiance. With their return we headed out to our next destination. Elk Haven Horse Camp.

This was not far from Mt. Rushmore which was good, because we were getting hungry and thirsty. It is a working horse camp but the owner once a week will smoke ribs if you pre-order them. They were so good and one rack will feed two people. Get there early to get a table, which we did and we were able to enjoy some beers before the ribs. Like we haven't had any beer this week.

This picture does not do them justice but they were so good, Meat comas for everyone.

Moans and groans again could be heard from the group again. Some swearing that they vow never to eat again. Once back at the ranch alcohol was provided again. Bourbon tasting and what ever else you fancied. The dice games were brought out also and I think I won another shut the box game again which meant more cash again! We all stumbled off to bed with our pants undone. Another fabulous day in the books.

Thursday 25 September 2025

Five days of drinking. This reminds me of my military deployments. My military training is paying off.

"Tango. Tango." Jethro whispered into my ear. Note to self. Have Gladys lock the door when she leaves.

"What Jethro?" I sighed.

"These old people are tougher than I thought. No one has left yet. I'm starting to lose money now." he whimpered softly into my pillow. 

"Maybe you need to have them start drinking earlier." I said.

Just like that a light bulb went off in his head. "That's brilliant!" he said. "Hold my pork rinds while I set up a brewery tour today!"

Off we went to the breweries. One after another.

The gang. 

Fun fact for you. Did you know you can drink more if you get senior citizen discounts? Everyone except the Canadians. They still pay more. Sorry.

Fun fact here. This is Jim's second picture of the group not realizing that Harry was not in it until I asked where Harry was? So we waited for him to return and re took the photo. I got your back Harry. So many breweries later we ended up at the Lost Cabin Brewery. This is what I remember of it.

Kids in bars. Good times.

After that it was time to head back to the ranch. It was going to be a special night. Bambi's famous tacos for dinner. Mouth watering for sure. I know I went back for seconds. Again everyone was stuffed. Bourbons came out again along with more dice games. 

How many days has this been. It's all kind of a fog.

"Tanglo, Tanglo. It's me Jefro. Tom, Tom, Tom, the day after today is going to be the most stupendilicious day every." Jethro whispered into my ear after a long day of breweries and bourbon.

"Why is that?" I said.

"We are going to see the big fluffy cows!"

The Infamous J Bar B Ranch

Monday September 22, 2025

Nestled deep inside the Black Hills of South Dakota is one of the hidden gems of the AARP crowd. It's new and I can see that this will be bigger than 25 cent ice cream cones at McDonalds for seniors and even bigger than the cheap drugs and dental in Algadones Mexico. The place I am talking about is the J Bar B Dude Ranch for Seniors. We were privileged enough to be invited by our hosts to sample all that they offered with a handful of other guests. Being the influencers that we are, we could not miss out on an opportunity like this. I started my review a few days ago so please review that before you go on.

Monday.

Hikes were on the agenda for today. Two to be exact. Hells Canyon for the crazy adventurers and a very easy hike around the picturesque Sylvan Lake. I don't have to tell  you which hike I did. Three went off to do the Hells Canyon hike and we never heard from them again. Oh, well. The rest of us went to Sylvan lake. If I haven't said it before, I am a cripple. Which is a bad thing in this group. So the group left me at a picnic table and went their merry way. Who cares that I might get eaten by a bear or something.

I made the best of it. I brought a book to read to pass the time. Although starving, I traded that book to a hippie for a granola bar. Who knows if they are ever coming back? I think they just left me there to die. 

Starving for days. I am a shell of the man I used to be.

Delirious, I looked up and I think I saw them in the distance.

They were all standing in line at the poopers. Awkward. I hobbled over to them and we all piled into the tour buses and returned to the ranch. Alcohol was promptly served to ease the aches and pains of the hikers. Bambi spread forth a plethora of seafood for the nights meal. Jethro introduced us to some dice games on Sunday and brought them back out Monday. 

The first one was called Shake-a-day. It costs a dollar to play and the object is to get a Yahtzee with six dice instead of five. Guess what I did? I got it!

Finally! Cash! The next one was called Shut the Box. 

It's a fun game. You roll the dice and lift or lower the tiles of the score you have. Let's say you roll a six, so you then lift the six. Roll a twelve, you lift the twelve. You keep rolling until you can't lift any more tiles and what is left is your score. Guess what I did? I scored a zero! Never before in human history has that been done!

 

That meant more money! Jethro has finally brought out the cash prizes for these events.

Just a side note here. Notice the people who have the lowest scores. That's right! Bambi and Tango. We are such fine athletes that we excel in everything we do.

More bourbon tasting ensued that evening. Now the real reason I think Jethro had us out there was to show off his extensive collection. Rumor has it that there are over 250 bottles. He has them stashed all over the place.

These are just two small areas that he has them in. There are literally cupboards full of bourbon. I did not partake in any bourbon tastings. 

Tuesday September 23, 2025

Jethro announced that there are more hikes on the agenda. I really think that he is doing this to try and knock some of us off because it has now been four days of fun and frolic. He says that he knows of an easy hike in the Wind Cave National Park that we just have to do. So we loaded up  the tourist busses and headed out.

We started the hike at the visitor center. Jethro led us out into the wilderness to our first stop. He was really digging the tour guide thing. The original opening that was discovered of the cave system.

At this point there is another sign that described the hike as "Moderately Strenuous".

I had to Google it and there is a difference between easy and this.

Jethro assured us that it was easy. At this point Gladys realized that she left her phone in the pooper and needed to go back and find it. Everyone said that they would wait. Soon Bambi said that she would go look for Gladys so she left. Realizing that this could be my way out I said that I would go look for them also and  that they should start the hike. So I left and dang it, the girls were coming down the trail. So the hike resumed.

Jethro blabbing on and on about some bush or plant or something. I just had to tune him out.

The only pictures I got of the group are of their backs because they just leave cripples to fend for themselves.

After the hike which I finished and no one cares, we headed back to the ranch for more alcohol. Bambi made some amazing steaks for dinner. More tastings and games followed and then people started to fade away. The hectic schedule and grueling activities started to take their toll on the old and crippled.

Jethro pulled me aside earlier in the day and whispered in my ear again. "Tango, this is brilliant. Everyone signs a waiver that there are no refunds. So if we do lots of vigorous hikes and they fall and break a hip or something, that's just more money for us!" To which I had to respond with this. "Let me guess, pork rinds and bourbon for breakfast?"

Four days down and four to go. Will we make it? Only time will tell.