It is true that we left the safety of the SSUVFL for parts unknown. The people that we went to help out seem to regale a tale of mirth and frivolity at the expense of myself, to be blunt about it. Reading his account makes me feel like I am reading a story in the National Enquirer or some other tabloid. A story you would find between ones like this; "Elvis found working a toll booth on the Jersey turnpike", and "Monica Lewinsky swallows the truth!".
If you would like to waste your time reading his account you can do so here. Jethro's blog post.
So here is how the events truly unfolded. Let me take you back to the time right before Easter.
Gladys(aka Lisa) and I(Tango), are preparing for a family holiday together. I like to use our aliases to protect the innocent. When all of a sudden the phone rings.
"Hello Jethro" I say.
"Tango!!!!! You need to hitch up your new wagon and high tale it out here! " Jethro said. Almost whimpering. "We need ya help! This is a full on red alarm dadgum emergency! We, we..........". Nothing but sobbing could be heard after that. Bambi then took the phone from him and tried to explain more. Now when Bambi speaks, it almost sounds like purring. So soft and sensual. The kind of voice you would gladly pay $1.99 a minute for. We assured her that we would make our way out there.
There are a couple of different types of sobbing from Jethro. Like the sobbing when he has had way too much to drink, usually preceded by the words, "I luv ya man". Or the type of sobbing when he gets a boo-boo and Bambi has to get him his favorite Hello Kitty bandaids. This sobbing seemed more sincere so we knew it would have to be something really wrong.
So we cancelled our Easter plans and loaded up our new camper. Anxious to take it out on its maiden voyage. The trip was uneventful which is the way we like it. Except for our one cat Journey. She was not too enthused about this trip. In fact she would climb behind our recliner sofa and get herself stuck. Three times she did that earning her the nickname "Ass cat". Being our first RV trip in a new rig, we had to stop at every Walmart along the way to pick up something we had forgotten. Not kidding about that.
As we pulled into Jethro and Bambi's driveway, Jethro came running out. Glass of bourbon in one hand and the usual bag of pork rinds in the other. Bambi on the other hand just kind of sashay's down the driveway. Almost as if she is walking in slow motion. Hips swaying to an imaginary beat that only she and your own heartbeat can hear.
Jethro immediately started ranting something in gibberish and flying pork rinds. Every once in awhile I could make out a word here or there. He was talking about critters or something. He started to calm down and his words were more understandable. Once he was calm and coherent, or maybe it was the bourbon kicking in, could we finally understand what was going on. I do miss the smell of bourbon and pork rinds. Not!
Jethro said "We have to fix the watering hole. The big critters can drink just fine but the little critters are going thirsty. It breaks my heart." A sob starts to escape him. I looked over at Bambi to see if this was true. She just looked at me and winked while licking her lips. Okay then.
That evening we ate a delicious Chinese meal prepared by Bambi and Gladys. It was so good you would have thought she trained in China. Jethro was drinking a variety of alcohol. Whatever he could grab hold of. We made plans for the next day on how to save the critters.
The next day we gathered the tools and equipment that we thought we would need and piled into his Ranger UTV to go to the waterin hole. After another perfect meal from Bambi. Now Bambi is a great cook. Whether it is simple meals or more complex meals she does not disappoint. But however, I seemed to start noticing a trend at meal times and it goes like this.
Bambi cooks the meal and dishes it up to Jethro who is sitting in his recliner, feet in the air and a drink on the side table. He eats his meal in his recliner. When he is done, you can hear an audible escape of gas from one of two areas, sometimes both, and then Bambi will get his plate and get him a fresh drink. When we got home I mentioned that to him and I said that his recliner almost seems like it is a high chair for old people. I also pointed out that the dogs are circling like sharks waiting for the food he drops or food that flies out of his mouth when he is jibber jabbing away.
Back to the tale at hand. We got to the watering hole.
So our plan was to make a smaller watering hole for the smaller critters. He had a float valve, hose and bucket for the task. We just had to use our ingenuity to make it all work.
Which we did after making several trips back to the shed for parts and more tools. It was a team effort for sure.
