The Escape/Part 2 Missouri

 April 3, 2022

Somewhere in Missouri

Our next super secret undisclosed location is not only super secret but also off the grid. We did not know that until we got there. No cell service at all. It was a long travel day for us.  7-8 hours. So in that time I invented a new travel game that I will share with you. Feel free to play it, along with the other popular travel games, such as slug bug, which is always a winner. Also the antelope game but that only works out west. 

My new travel game is called "Name that Dead Critter".  It goes like this. As you are driving along, the first one to name correctly the dead critter wins the point. You can play to how many points you want. Sometimes it can be very hard to identify a critter so it becomes challenging. We played up to 11 because Lisa started feeling sick from looking at all of the dead animals in different levels of decomposition. So I ended up winning!

Our next super secret undisclosed location is Mark Twain State Park outside of Florida, Missouri.

I can tell you our locations now because by the time the paparazzi reads this, we will be long gone. Now if you are at the bar playing trivia, this question may just come up and you will know the answer because I am going to tell you. "What famous american author was born in Florida, Missouri?" The answer is Mark Twain. Or Samuel Clemens. I kind of gave it away in my first sentence. I guess beer and blogging really don't mix.

So anyways, we were at Mark Twain State Park. They have three camp ground loops and we had one loop entirely to ourselves. Maybe 3 other campers in the whole park. Love the off season.

My travel agent Lisa has really been doing her homework on this trip. I thought there would be no way to top Sioux City but she did it. My socks are officially knocked off. 

Our first stop was the visitor center where they had Mark Twain's house that he was born in, inside it. It was on a Monday and I guess that is the day they are not open. Wah! Wah! Next we drove to Florida. The village, not the sunny warm state. There we saw the spot where the cabin once stood. At least we saw a picture of the cabin. Just as good.

There is not much left to the village. A few houses. It's not a place to really go out of your way to find unless you really want to. So we left Florida and headed to Hannibal, Missouri.

That is what Mark Twain fans are going to be familiar with. The old downtown is nice. A little touristy. They have Tom Sawyer's house, Huckleberry Finn's house and Becky Thatcher's. At least the houses that were featured in the books. Mark Twain had quite the life. He was quite the american adventurer.

We paid our fee to go into the museum which is two museums and 5 houses. They offer a military discount that brought our grand total to zero dollars. So we gave them a monetary donations as a thank you. We started in the first museum. There was a lot of reading there. You learn all about Mark Twain and his books. I could hear Lisa's eyes rolling in her head so we moved on. First house you go into is Huckleberry Finns house. A two room shack.

It did not look that nice back in the day. The next house was Tom Sawyers. Actually Mark Twain's. No really it was Samuel Clemons. They all three lived there.

That is the white fence he conned his friends into whitewashing for him. Everything has been restored. The tour takes you through the house.

Complete with the ghost of Mark Twain sitting at the table. However he did not live here as an adult, only a child growing up.

Another room with another ghost. Lisa and I were talking about the Tom Sawyer books and I had to admit that I only remember some of the high points since I only read these as a kid. Lisa hadn't read them at all. Across the street was Becky Thatcher's house. His girlfriend in the books.

The last 2 buildings of the tour are the law office where Mark Twain's father worked and the corner pharmacy where Mark Twain and his family lived for a short time. After that we walked the two blocks to the second museum that is included in your ticket price. There they have more history and the exhibits are more interactive and interesting for kids. Lisa loved it.

Three floors of stuff to look at. There is a replica of a riverboat wheel house. So it was my turn to play captain.

We worked up a mighty hankering for vittles so we began to mosey on down to the Mark Twain Dinette. They have been serving good food since the 50's. With our bellies satisfied and our noggins overflowing with new information, it was time to leave Hannibal. Mainly because we started talking with a southern accent. One more thing to do. We had to walk down to the river. There was a river boat moored up there that gives tours and dinner cruises. Too chilly for us to be out on the water.

On our way back to the campground, Lisa had one more secret up her sleeve. She said there was a covered bridge near the small town of Paris. To Paris then! Sure enough, there it was. 

Completely restored. It was amazing. Idiots have not been out there and vandalized it or anything. Vehicles don't use it any more. They reroute the vehicle traffic through the river. Really? Why was there a need for the bridge at all then?

Not knowing the depth, we stayed on this side.

That is it for this leg of the trip. We have been to Florida, to Paris and everything in between. Time to move on to our next soon to be disclosed undisclosed location.

"Throw the cats in the truck Gladys, lets go!"

The Escape/Part 1 Sioux City

April 1st, 2022

 It has been planned for months now but hardly a word has been spoken. Those involved have been sworn to secrecy by threat of being relocated to Ukraine. So with a high degree of confidence that we just might be able to pull this off, we left.

We left, but not with our usual fanfare of streets lined with people and a police escort down main street. No we left quietly, so that we wouldn't draw attention and announce that our Super Secret Undisclosed Virus Free Location was now unattended. I was confident with the Russian landmines I bought from a friendly Ukrainian guy from the trunk of a Buick, that our SSUVFL would be safe.

Leaving on April 1st, April Fools Day, might deter some people that are superstitious, but not us. It was sunny and it promised to be a glorious day. Until we got to South Dakota (what is up with South Dakota?). There Mother Nature had her own little April fools joke to throw at us. We ran into rain that quickly turned into sleet and then into snow. Temps hung around 30 degrees. I have never been a fan of pulling our 16,000 pound camper on ice but we lucked out and it just stayed slushy until we were past it. Nothing else eventful on our first leg of the trip happened unless you count the fleecing we got at the gas pump. $105 dollars later, which used to cost $70. That was even without my usual truck stop hot dog that I cherish. Sacrifices must be made I guess.  We have one person to thank for that.

We made it to our first stop. You guessed it. South Sioux City, Nebraska. Our little journey took us into 5 different states in one day. MN, ND, SD, IA and NB. Not bad for our first real trip since the Covid hit.

We found our campground easily. It is on the banks of the Missouri River with the beautiful Sioux City skyline behind it.

The campground is Scenic Park Campground and it is open year round if you have the hankering for camping in a colder climate. This however is just a quick stop for us so that we can de-winterize and sight see. We are looking for much warmer temps. Temps here are in the 50's and low 30's right now.

We had a whole day of sightseeing planned for Sioux City. We have learned that it is a hidden gem along the Missouri River. All of the activities worth seeing are also free. How can you beat that? Or so we thought. First up was the Jolly Time Popcorn Museum.

Cute little museum filled with some history and nostalgia about Jolly Time popcorn. As kids growing up in the midwest and before all of the microwave brands, there was just Jolly Time. 

So if my brother-in-law Jeff, from the band Flint, A Spark of Hot Rock, is reading this, there is a place for you to go and look at old crap. Now I said that all of these activities are free. Free if you have will power. At Jolly Time they sell about 50 flavors of popcorn. You name it and they probably have it. So that cost us just over ten dollars to try some varieties. I picked caramel roll and Lisa picked key lime. Both were amazing.

Next stop was the Palmer Old Tyme Candy Shoppe.

They are also a candy company and they had a display of old candy making machines and also a huge variety of candy. Oh oh.

Candy machines lined one wall. All very old and they really looked unsanitary. The Palmer Candy Company is known for the Twin Bing candy. We have never had one or heard of it. I asked about it and lucky enough they had samples that you could try.

It was chocolate and peanut wrapped around a cherry fluff filling. It was very good. Again it was a free exhibit with a free sample. Win win. But in all reality, who can walk out of a huge candy store without buying something for your sweet tooth? The answer is us. 23 dollars later. We must have sucker written on our heads.

Next stop was called the Trinity Heights. I think it may have been Lisa's favorite. (This is Lisa and it was NOT my favorite). This is a Christian park and the highlight of it is.....wait for it...... the 30 foot tall statues of Jesus and Mary.

They also have many areas with other statues for inspiration and many areas just to meditate and pray if that is what you were wanting to do. It covers many acres of land and is really impressive. One of the other main draws, as if that wasn't enough, is that a wood carver carved a life size version of the last supper. It took him seven years to complete but it was truly amazing.

Again this is a free activity and to keep it free for us, we stayed out of the gift shop. Even though I really wanted a Jesus bobble head for the truck. Another sacrifice made to afford fuel. They do ask for donations so I did reach into my pocket and gave in. Jesus was smiling down on us today.

Since this is on the Missouri River, we went to the Louis and Clark interpretive center. Very good dioramas and an interesting movie that helped explain the expedition. We wanted to learn more about it before it got rewritten. 

President Thomas Jefferson explaining his part about the expedition.

Lewis and Clark telling us all about it also.

This is Sergeant Charles Floyd explaining his part of the expedition. Now this is something new to us and it plays an important part of history around here.  He was a 21 year old woodsman enlisted into the expedition. He died 3 months into the trip and he was the only one that didn't make it. He was buried in the bluffs above Sioux City. He made quite an impression on Lewis and Clark and they thought a lot about him. Lastly we have a few words from Lewis' dog named Seamen. 

I just threw that one in because Jim just loves dog videos. He was a Newfoundland. They have some bronzes out front so I got a picture with one of them. Also free except for a small donation.

If you didn't know better, you would think I was one of the original members of the expedition. I mean with my charisma and looks. Not to mention my stamina and outdoorsey stuff. Next door was the Sioux City Visitor Center inside a big river boat named the Sergeant Floyd. Have you heard that name before?

It was a working river boat up until the 1980's when they hauled it up onto shore and turned it into the visitor center and river boat museum. Lots of history inside of it and you get to go up all three floors. At the top is the wheel house with the controls still inside. Lisa really loved that. I could not get her to stop ringing that infernal bell.

It went on for hours and hours. She then got a picture of me as captain.

If that doesn't give kids nightmares, I don't know what will. There was a Sergeant Charles Floyd memorial on the bluff where he is buried so we took the short drive to find it. 

I have driven by that for many years and never stopped. Now we have and we know the history of it. It was a very informative day and best of all I got to spend it with my better half. She took a photo to commemorate the fun filled day.

Being the ever critical person she can be, she said she didn't like it. I said wait, I can do better.

Sioux city did not disappoint. Now off to our next fun filled location.

I have to add a segment called Pop's corner. So sit down children while I dole out a healthy helping of common sense. It's been 2 years since we were on the road and I have heard that camping has changed due to the pandemic. New people are enjoying this activity which is great. There's room for all of us. 

Fulltime RVing is when mostly retired people sell their houses and move into an RV and travel the country and enjoy their retirement. But there are other so called fulltimers who I really wouldn't call fulltimers. One class is the people who are down on their luck and have no other choice but to live in a dilapitated RV. They are easy to spot because they look like meth labs and who knows, they could be. There are a few of those here in Sioux City and it is kind of sad in a way.

The other type of fulltimers are the construction workers. they have money because you can tell. They have new fifthwheels, usually toy haulers to haul motorcycles or ATV's with them. They also have jacked up four wheel drive trucks with obnoxiously loud exhausts. Round and round they drive in the campground circling for I don't know what reason. They gather by someones truck with thier hands in their pockets drooling over it until the owner then says, "Wait until you hear it!" Vroom, vroom, vroom it goes and they are all just giddy about it. Dumbasses.

Our last night in Siuox city, our neighbor decided to let his diesel truck run all night long. I didn't notice it until I got up at 4:33 am when I heard it. Lisa said she was up at 1:22 am and heard it and looked out the window and saw the lights on. Finally at 7:30 it turned off. Don't people have the common courtesy for other campers? We have 4 possible theory's. 1. He was drunk and passed out in the drivers seat when he got home. 2. He committed suicide and there is a hose running from his exhaust to the camper. 3. It's a GMC and he was afraid it wouldn't start in 30 degree temperatures. And finally number 4 which is probably the correct answer. He's a dumbass.

"Pack up Gladys, lets get the hell out of Dodge! Onto more super secret undisclosed locations."

Murder Mystery Dinner Theater*

Before I tell you the tale of our Murder Mystery Dinner Theater, I want to finish some other business. First. My last blog post may have given you the idea that we hate winter which is untrue. We loathe it. But we have tried to make the best of it.

What does Minnesota, the land of 10,000 lakes, have in abundance? Ice, frozen water, not the Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency. So one frigid, frozen night we took a little drive with the heater in our truck on high, to a town not too far away. The town of Detroit Lakes, MN. Every winter they host a winter festival called Polar Fest. The night we went there the temperature was a balmy -10 F. But we went anyways. The big draw is the ice castle that they make with blocks of ice from the lake. It's best to see it at night because they light it up.

They also have an area filled with ice sculptures which we didn't mosey over to because it was -10 below. They also have many winter outdoor activities planned for the 2 week event which we didn't partake in because it was -10 below. As proof that we were actually there.

Also as proof that we got outside and enjoyed some winter, we had some VIP's stay with us one weekend. My brother-in-law, Jeff, is one of the founders of the rock band Flint, "A Spark of Hot Rock".  He brought his snowmobiles for us to ride around on. My sister, Mrs. Jeff Cerise, brought her snowshoes to hike around on. Luckily the weekend weather called for temps 20 degrees above zero. That really makes a difference. After some sledding and hiking I lit a hobo fire in our burning barrel, because our fire pit is buried under 3 feet of snow, and had some cocktails.

l-r, Jeff from Flint, A spark of Hot Rock, Mrs. Cerise next to him, me waving and the ever perky Lisa.

Later on we decided to go to our local favorite brewery. Outstate Brewery. Jeff from Flint, A Spark of Hot Rock and Mrs. Cerise shared a flight while Perky and I had our usuals. We all shared pizzas. Fun was had by all.

Mrs. Cerise and Perky.

So as you can see, we are trying to make the best of it. Now for the gruesome gory details of our Murder Mystery Dinner Theater.

*Some images may not be suitable for children or those with a weak constitution.

Mrs. Cerise and Perky had snowshoed through a lot of our woods that weekend while Jeff from Flint,  A Spark of Hot Rock, snowmobiled around the woods and the lake. So as we all did that we did not notice anything out of the ordinary. After Jeff from Flint, A Spark of Hot Rock, and Mrs. Cerise left, Lisa was out snowshoeing one day. She was following a deer trail up from the lake that goes near our cabin when I got a call from her. She said to come down and look. Something was murdered. As I walked down the deer trail I came upon this gory scene.

 

The area of the kill site was quite large and very bloody so we know that an animal didn't just happen upon a dead carcass. This was a a live deer being taken down by something. Since it was warming up here the tracks all around where very hard to find. So our detective minds went to work on the case. We phoned Jim, the renowned wildlife specialist of SD for his input. We phoned neighbors. We phoned the DNR. All in an attempt to find out what might have caused this massacre. I checked my trail cam and we do have a coyote that lives in the area. I also saw a pack of dogs roam through our property from some farm. As we talked to people and googled things it started to form a clearer picture.

There was the absence of any bones. Everything was gone except about a 1 foot square piece of fur and the contents of what was left in the stomach. So we narrowed it down to what might have killed the deer who we now think might have been the one we call Wonky. She was injured from what we believe to be a car accident. 

This is the last picture we got of Wonky. She always had one ear that went off to the side. So our list of suspects are: a pack of dogs, a pack of coyotes, a Sasquatch, a Predator from the Predator movie. (Jim's thought. I must of talked to him when he was drinking. Oh wait, he's always drinking.)

I only throw that one in because Jim said that because of the lack of tracks. The Predator can easily move through trees. Or maybe a wolf or pack of wolves. 

Now to eliminate the suspects. The dogs we haven't seen in a month or two and if I do see them chasing deer I will take care of them once and for all. One coyote couldn't take down a deer and we do have a pack of them around, but they make such a racket, we would have heard them if they are in the area. There have only been one Sasquatch egg this past fall so I don't think they are in this part of the woods. We have not heard any Predator space ships lately so we ruled him out also. Sadly to Jim's disappointment. That just left the wolf or pack of wolves. 

The DNR said that a single wolf could eat a deer but that seems unlikely. I googled it and google says that a wolf can eat 20 pounds of meat. They will also eat the bones and there were no bones left at all. Just blood and some fur. So we believe there may be a pack of wolves in the area and the DNR guy says that they will stay as long as there is a food source. We have lots of deer. 21 was the most we had in our yard at once.

We had our grandkids visit us this past weekend. As we were walking outside we came across another kill site near the cabin.

Again, lots of blood. There was just a small section of spine and part of a leg not eaten. So that now makes two. The deer that we do see around now are on the alert all of the time so that makes us a little leery as we walk around. We walk around now to see if there are more kills but haven't found any yet. They seem to be about 5-7 days apart. So that is our excitement. It's cool that the wolves are making a comeback. Just like the Eagles. We love seeing them but they are a little too close for comfort, especially with small kids.

Speaking of the grand kids, we had them out here for the weekend. It was too cold to play outside, so they ran of some steam in the barn. We have it heated now and they had fun.

Work on the cabin continues. We got the utility room walls done. Also the bedroom walls and ceiling.

So things are progressing along. Until next time.

February 2022

 

Just another storm in the north today. I think that brings the total to around 8, but who's counting? This one is expected to dump 8-14 inches of snow. Lately we have been spending 1 to 2 days a week moving snow around. Thankfully I have my tractor.

When I started this blog, it started as a travel blog. I promise that that will happen again. We are making plans as we speak to hit the road again to some fun filled undisclosed locations. I know one thing for sure and that is that I will not be here next winter.

Work on the cabin is progressing. Lisa stained all of the wood we needed for our bedroom. 

While she was doing that i put up some tin along the bottom portion. We have a lot of tin and we wanted to use some more of it. Then I started to install the wood on two walls.

We picked a stain that was a warm color and it closely matched the cedar I put up on the back wall.

It came out really nice. Then Lisa stained the wood for the ceiling. Once she was done with that I quickly put it up. God forbid I sit down for a little while and play a video game.

It is nice having a ceiling over our heads again. It will really help when it rains now. Rain hitting that tin roof was loud.

Since I had to take down our ceiling fan that was in the bedroom, I just put up a regular light fixture. That fan we had was pretty annoying. When you turned on the light and the fan was spinning, it made like a strobe light affect. It made me want to boogie.

Now we just have the utility room to finish, hallway ceiling and the living room/kitchen ceiling, along with all of the trim.  Lisa said that I have 1 year to finish the work or until April, whichever comes first.

One thing we do enjoy is watching the critters around the house. We have a lot of deer in our woods and with so much snow on the ground we try to help them out. So we have bought some alfalfa for them to munch on. We spread it out in several areas so that they don't fight over it.

This is looking out our sliding door. We don't put all of the alfalfa out at once. The bales that we don't put out I leave in my trailer. But those crafty deer know where to find them.

They will jump up into my trailer to get to the alfalfa while the others act like it's a buffet.

If there are any Deerologists out there, please explain to me why they poo where they eat? I don't get it. We see the same deer most every day.

Lisa took this picture through the screen. We have named her Wonky because she has that look about her. That one ear is always down like that. We think she was hit by a car because she has a limp and an open sore on her head. So it must have been recently.

I want to try out a section here for the blog. I want to call it "Pop's corner". It's where you can pull up a seat while I re-gale you with knowledge and common sense. Something that I think is lacking in this country.

First thing I would like to share is this. I spent 26 years in the military. 4 years in the Air Force and 22 in the North Dakota Air National Guard. None of which I regret at all. We had a saying that goes like this. "It's not how fast you can do a job, it's how long you can make a job last." I think that is above every government office. Speaking from my own experience it meant this. Enjoy the work when it is slow because when the poo hits the fan, you will work your tush off.

A dadism popped into my head yesterday out of the blue. My father was and is very well respected in our ever growing mid western city. He knew a lot of people and like me he was terrible with names. Maybe I got that from him, who knows? I could walk up with my wife to someone I haven't seen in awhile and say something like this. "Wow.(Pause to try and remember their names). I haven't seen you in ages. This is my wife........AH.....Mrs's Dino Olivieri". Cool under pressure, that's what I am.

I would remember my dad calling people a "dirty dingus McGhee". As a kid, I didn't know if it was a good or bad thing. For some reason that popped into my head. Maybe because at the time someone pulled out in front of us. So still thinking about it today, I had to google it and by most accounts it was not nice. Now as I put this new knowledge into practice, I can say I know a few "dirty dingus McGhee's". I think they know who they are. LOL!

Pop out!