Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Natures calling. You better have a plan.

Natures calling is a very serious business in the Amazon. Nooooooo!!!!!! You say. Isn't it a natural occurance? Doesn't gravity just kick in and all your problems are solved? I wish that I could tell you it was that simple but(No pun intended), it is a very complex ordeal and to make it the most enjoyable time of day you better have a plan and you better be prepared for the inevitable. Let me explain to you what has been keeping me up for oh so many nights.

Now I can only give you the mans perspective because I haven't been in the Ladies room and I do beleive that the plumbing in there is different.

When we started this job in August I could not believe the facilities they had for the amount of people that work in a building this size. Remember over 2 million square feet and 2,000 employees. Walking in there, there is 1 bathroom with 3 urinals and 3 stalls. About 100 yards further into the building there is another bathroom with 1 urinal and 1 stall. But that has been closed until recently. Another 50 yards there is another bathroom with 1 urinal and 1 stall. They did bring in a temporary bathroom with 2 urinals and 2 stalls. So doing some quick simple math, that means there were 6 urinals and 6 stalls(remember one bathroom was closed) for roughly 1000 men if you just split the population in half. 166 men per stall. 1000/6=166.66.

Good news though. The construction has been completed and they have added 7 more urinals and 7 more stalls and opened the one bathroom near the front adding 1 and 1 respectively but have also removed the temporary bathroom leaving 12 and 12. So that means 83 men per stall or urinal. 1000/12=83.33. I just hope that venerial diseases aren't running rampent because it would spread like wild fire.

Those are the cold hard(again no pun intended)facts.

Here is the plan that you should be prepared for. Let's say that you are working in A bldg. and Natures gives you a little call. Okay, there is a bathroom only a short distance away. You walk over there and guess what. It is closed for cleaning. Really? Don't panic. You then start to walk to the next one in B bldg. It is locked so contractors aren't using it. On to the next one. Damn, they are cleaning that one also. The next one is at the far end of C bldg. Hopefully they aren't cleaning that one also. So the distance from the front bathroom to the bathroom in C is 1/3 of a mile. Seriously. And remember there is no running. Safety hazard. This has actually happened to me. Plus I am a person that doesn't like to be rushed.

When we started we were given a orange safety vest. But what we really need is a pair of depends. Well as you can see we have plenty of time to think about and worry about the big issues of the day.


  1. Seriously? They did not plan that out very well!

  2. Oh the stories we will re-gale you with over this little adventure. Hopefully it will just be a one time deal.

  3. Very interesting!?! Same layout for the women?