Friday, November 18, 2022

Preparations

 My hip replacement surgery is only a few days away and we are making preparations for a six week recovery. We have been given pamphlets, that's plural, about what to expect and tips to help you recover. We were required to watch an hour and a half video on the same subjects that the pamphlets cover. We have purchased and received many items to help me get around and to just help make recovery easier.

Items like a walker.


It even has wheels on the front. That will help me get around and to prevent falls. A fall would be very bad I assume. I'm guessing that if I fell, I would be like a turtle on my back. A sad little turtle bawling like a little baby from the pain.

I got a super long shoe horn to help me get my shoes on.


A device that will help me get my socks on without having to bend over.

Who knew there was such a thing? I have a reacher/grabber thingy to pick things up. Just an FYI, it will grab a beer can out of the fridge.

We have grab bars in the shower so I can hang onto them as I seductively bathe myself. That's because Lisa won't sponge bathe me. We have a toilet seat riser to help me do you know what. But you really didn't need to know that and I will not demonstrate it for you. We also have grab bars to assist in getting up.

I was hoping to get a scooter but my nurse said that I need to walk to get stronger, not ride. Even though I would look awesome on a scooter. I was planning on wearing my motorcycle jacket when I was driving it. One of the best things we did get is an electric lift chair. How did I ever live without one?


I also found an APP for my phone that makes bell sounds so that I can ring my nurse every time I need something.

I have been DVRing lots of movies to watch. Weekends will be taken up with football. A good friend of mine Jim said that he loves the Hallmark channel so I have been watching lots of Christmas movies. We are so in the mood for Christmas now. My daughter even brought over some gaming systems to keep me entertained. So bring on the surgery.

15 comments:

  1. Wow, you are very prepared. Hopefully all goes well and things progress quickly during recovery and before long you are an improved version of your current self. Good luck!!! Thanks for not demonstrating all the new equipment, but we hope you've read the instructions well.

    Deb

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    1. Thanks. Directions have been read and trial runs completed.

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  2. Good luck Dino it’s a piece of cake I have had it

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  3. It looks as though you are definitely prepared for the occasion. The big question is; how long will you milk the recovery, and will you keep all the aid devices and continue to use them for the rest of your life? My sources say "yes".

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    1. I will hang onto all of the devices so that I can rent them to you. Make a little money. You still owe me a case of beer plus 10. Inflation and interest. Maybe if I die on the table your debt will be cleared.

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  4. Well you can still wear the jacket with the walker? Good luck with the surgery. And geez, aren’t there easier ways to get out if shoveling the walkway?!

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    1. Getting out of shoveling is just a side bonus I had not thought of. Lisa will be so happy to do it. I'm starting a swear jar for her.

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  5. You’re too funny. A good sense of humor goes a long way😂

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  6. Good luck with your surgery. I bet you are glad you have your home instead of the one on wheels going through this. For Ray's third back surgery he had to recover in the motorhome so it was definitely tricky. One of the things I rented was a bed rail for one side to help him get out of bed ... something you may consider.

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    1. No I would not want to recover in our fifthwheel. Way too small. Thanks.

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  7. Good luck with your surgery Dino. You’ll be chasing Lisa around your super secret location before you know it!

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    1. Thanks. Chaser her? For what? Did she take my beer?

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