Security Breach at the SSUVFL!

 The SSUVFL stands for Super Secret Undisclosed Virus Free Location. It's what we call our little oasis deep in the woods of Minnesota. We love our land for the privacy, the peace and quiet that surrounds us and not to mention the abundant wildlife that we share it with. It is so wooded that we cannot see our neighbors at all. Being secluded like we are we have to take some extra measures as to not attract any meth-heads who want to set up a meth lab in the middle of our woods. 

So with the measures we have taken you can imagine our surprise when a vehicle drives down our driveway, past our house and into the woods it went. Let me take you back to the other day.

It's around 9 o'clock at night. I am in the spare bedroom watching TV. That's where I like to watch shows with John Wayne and Clint Eastwood in them while the missus watches her soaps in the living room. From my window in the bedroom you get a perfect view of the driveway and much to my surprise out of the corner of my eye I see headlights coming down the driveway. I yell to the missus "Gladys! put your bloomers on! We have company!" Not knowing who it could be at this hour, I walk to the front door to continue watching.

Would you drive down a road in the dark that looked like this? Maybe I need to play banjo music.

Most people will see the house and then drive to it. So I waited to see who could be interrupting my John Wayne movie marathon. But they did not turn to the house but they continued on into the woods beyond. "Gladys! Sound the alarms! They went into the woods!" Sirens start blaring, flashing lights turn on everywhere. A voice over our intercom starts bellowing "Alarm red! I repeat, alarm red! To battle stations!" I throw on my emergency shorts and start to head out the door to chase them down in the Ranger. I grab the closest gun I could get which happened to be a .38 snub nose revolver that's usually close by and jump into the Ranger. 

Living deep in the woods like we are I am our first responder whether I like it or not. The road into our woods only goes about 100 yards farther but then turns into ATV trails. So I get near the end of the road and see lights starting to turn around. Not knowing who this person is or how many might be in the vehicle made me a little nervous. So I pull up in front of them with my lights shining into the vehicle and I see a woman as the only person inside. I then pull alongside and ask her what she's doing out here. She said she was looking for her dog. I said we would keep an eye out for it but have not seen anything since we have cameras at the front. She then left with me following behind to make sure. 

After the incident it made me think. That lady had to be pretty brave or pretty stupid to just start driving into peoples properties. We have a sign at the beginning of our driveway that says Private Drive. Then after that you get to a gate that has a sign that says No Trespassing.

And finally not going to our house and telling us her situation? If she would have come to the door it would have saved us from having a potential heart attack. Secondly, should I have for just such a situation something more than a .38 snub nose revolver? What if the sh*t were to hit the fan? This world is getting crazy. For this situation it was fine because it just stayed on the seat in a case. If I would have showed up with, say my Zombie Slayer 3000 it might have freaked her out. The Zombie Slayer 3000 is my Zombie Apocalypse/Alien attack gun.

This is my AR build I'm working on. It's got a red dot scope on top. Offset iron sights in case the battery dies or there is an EMP. I have attached a bayonet that's really cool and I need to get a light laser combo for it. I then just have to sit and wait for the zombies/aliens. I hope I don't have to wait long though.

On a more personal note. I have reached some milestones this year. Some that I just don't know if I need to reach. For starters turning 62 and collecting Social Security. Secondly having our friends teach us to play Bingo like we are sitting in a retirement home or something. And thirdly my race to becoming decrepit is complete. In a nutshell. I fell. Not gracefully either.

I was mowing some brush on the property with a walk behind weed whacker. I was cutting a 4 foot tall thistle and it fell right on top of the mower. Being a thistle, I didn't want to use my hand to knock it off, so I used my foot to kick it off. Of course my foot gets tangled into the cable that runs through there. Then my world went into slow motion. I fell backwards trying not to land on my wrist that is already injured. So I landed on my elbow. To make it worse I fell on thistles I already cut down. So then I was picking thistle barbs out of my leg and arm. Luckily no one saw me. Next stop, the nursing home I guess. I bet they have butterscotch pudding there.

Until then.